Episode 8: Mothers’ Day Special: Reverend Moms

In honor of Mother’s Day, which is coming up on May 13 this year, we have four moms with us and all  of them are priests who are serving at different Episcopal churches in Connecticut.
 
We wanted to know, how do they combine being a woman priest and being a mom? It’s easy to say you’re going to have good, strong boundaries between the personal and the professional, but it’s harder to actually do that. And then there’s the matter of judgment: Potentially the whole congregation where they’re serving might feel entitled to judge their child-rearing ability, and their child or children, by what they see or don’t see on Sunday mornings when mom is at work.  
 
Then we had a side question: Do they want everyone to call them, “Mother” ? (which is listed in the current online version of “Rules of Address” from the Church Pension Group, although they do recommend asking for preferences ... ) Or just their children? 
 
There are special challenges and blessings of their unique role.

Today’s guests include: 

The Rev. Rebekah Hatch is rector of St. Alban’s Church in Simsbury. She is a native or Georgia, received her M.Div from Virginia Theological Seminary and was ordained in 2004. Her daughter Ruth is 12 and in the sixth grade, and her son Elias is 8 and in the second grade. 

The Rev. Charlotte LaForest, assistant rector of St. John’s, Essex. She was raised in Florida, received her M.Div from Berkeley Divinity School at Yale, and was ordained in 2015. She has a son, August, who is 4, and 8-month-old twins Rowan and Evelyn. Charlotte also writes a blog (when she has time) called Gather Up the Crumbs: A Life in Sacrament and Sippy Cups.

The Rev. Tracy Johnson Russell is rector of St. Monica’s Church in Hartford. She is originally from the Midwest, received her M.Div from Berkeley Divinity School at Yale, and was ordained deacon in 2003 and priest in 2004. Her son Thaeyer Charles is 7 and is in the second grade.

The Rev. Stacey Kohl is curate at St. Mark’s, Mystic. She received an MA from Bethany and an MA from Yale Divinity School and was ordained in 2017. Her son Henry James is three months old, and he was with us today (you’ll hear him on the podcast).

One of the first topics we discussed was whether their child-raising was more public, part of the life of the parish, or private, and separated. There was no clear preference: Some children were fully integrated in the parish, and Sunday services, while others weren’t - and there were different reasons. “Church is always going to be a complicated place,” one said.
 
A mom who’d recently been pregnant talked about how people in the congregation felt it was ok for them to make comments about her changing shape and status. It’s an issue for most all women clergy, regardless of whether or not they’re a mom. And just being pregnant in parish ministry is physically challenging! 
 
A mom with older children talked about setting up a network of women from the parish who could step in and help out when there was a pastoral emergency that needed her presence. 
 
Sometimes the moms feel guilty for the time they have to spend with the congregation. Tracy talked about the tugs that happen between needs of her own family and those of the family of God that she shepherds. 
 
As far as a title - no one preferred “Mother” as a title for themselves. “Rev” got a thumbs up and yes, they know it’s not a grammatically correct usage.  
 
And the children? These “preacher’s kids” range from enjoying church and wanting to be ordained themselves to rejecting it all (at the moment, at least). Regardless of what direction their children are leaning, all of the moms agreed that having children has taught them more about God’s unconditional love and their ability to see God in more moments of life. 

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In Christ and Coffee,
Karin & Alli