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Episode 59: Seeing and empowering potential through campus ministry

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To kick off Season 5 we are getting into the back to school season with college chaplains! 

We have the Rev. Paul Carling, the Rev. Brian Blayer. 

The Rev. Paul Carling is the Chaplain at the Episcopal Church at Yale a position he has held for 5 years. Before Yale he was doing parish work for 10 years, and he was a professor of psychology before then at a variety of universities, and worked around the world to advance the recovery of people with serious mental illnesses. He is passionate about discovering the wisdom of Young Adults between 17-35 and how it must shape the church of the future. When he is not at his office of at the chapel on campus you can find him cooking for friends, reading trashing ecclesiastical mysteries, and gardening. He lives in Bridgeport with his wife, Cherise. 

The Rev. Brian Blayer is the rector of St. Mark’s Chapel in Storrs, where he has been for the last two years. St. Mark's has an active campus ministry for the University of Connecticut. Before Storrs and UCONN, he was the rector of Grace Episcopal Church in Whitestone, Queens. Before he was ordained he was a high school English teacher in Queens. He is passionate about potential — he enjoys exploring potential and being with people as we realize our own potential and finding possibilities that we have in church communities. He hosts a radio talk show, Crossroads, on WHUS 91.7 fm Storrs talking about the intersection of their faith life and personal life. Hmm, sounds familiar? It is also a youtube show and podcast. Brian is also a drummer.  

Welcome Paul and Brian! 

Alli starts off the conversation asking both Paul and Brian what ministry looks like in their settings — Yale Campus and Storrs/UCONN. For Paul’s ministry, his ministry is beyond Yale’s campus and includes the young adult population that lives in the Greater New Haven area, as well as the Yale undergraduate, and graduate students. The ministry at the Chaplain’s office is completely student led and Paul works for them. In Storrs, Brian says that it is a bit different because he is at a parish that happens to be close to the UCONN campus, and therefore crossover ministry is vibrant. Brian has found his radio show to be a way to help build community with students, faculty, and community members. 

Paul and Brian agree that parish environments near campuses help students find a place of home, providing multi-generational connections.  For Yale, Paul has established a close relationship with Trinity Episcopal Church, New Haven, which is on the New Haven Green. For Brian, the congregation in Storrs has started offering their homes to students home at Thanksgiving, allowing for students to find a home to celebrate the holiday. 

Allí asks Paul if he’s seen a shift in campus ministry, and Brian if he noticed any shift in his parish. Paul talks about how coming back to Yale after spending time in parish ministry the change “hit him right between the eyes” that the world has changed dramatically. He learned that young people are not the future of the church, but the present. If we learn how they are inventing that, he says, then we can have a glimmer of what the church could be. With that, the church has to change to benefit and welcome young adults.

Paul said that he has learned that if you do not have students and young people in places of leadership everywhere, shaping the church of the now, then the church is lost. He also has found that young people are interested in ordained ministry, yet once they leave the environment of a campus ministry — they have a hard time finding places where their thoughts, ideas, and passion is supported. 

Paul continues on about how calling bishops and parishes looking for environments that support young adults has become a part of his job which he never anticipated. He tells his students now that they are the new leaders, the teachers. He notices they are becoming advocates, getting more involved and are showing their collective potential to change the church.

One thing that excited Brian about St. Mark’s was the potential to close the “gap” between confirmation and marriage/baptism of children. These persons between the ages of 15-30ish, are making life changing decision - jobs, finding a partner, etc. and the church needs to be there for them, this is what draw Brian to campus ministry. Before Brian arrived to St. Mark’s it was traditional for the clergy person to the campus ministry for the chapel— but that is not how Brian does ministry. He “won’t do ministry for you, but with you.” This has translated to the campus ministry St. Mark’s does, Brian doesn’t do campus ministry, all of St. Mark’s does campus ministry. 

Alli shifts the conversation and asks what their ministry is like when times for students and communities are tough. Paul says that these moments of his ministry are the most meaningful for him. Turning to psychology, Paul mentions that college is a time when people are individuating from their parents and home life. And, Paul mentions Theologian Marcus Borg, that people are moving from a secondhand religion to a first-hand faith: from dogma to an intimate relationship with God. Paul finds the greatest opportunity for the church in a college ministry setting, is supporting students through the various crises that happen within college. 

Paul also points out that with societal changes the practice of family members ‘coming back’ is not guaranteed anymore. College is emotionally challenging, and emotional/identity crisis are very likely to happen at this time frame. Paul says it may sound ironic that it makes him smile, but coming to this point in life is inevitable, and to do so without having to numb it out to ignore the crisis but rather acknowledge it in a supportive setting is ideal.

What this means, is that crises is going to happen to students and the church must be the place to radically welcome them as they are for who they are, and support and nurture them through these difficult moments.

Brian mentions three events that have happened since he has been in his role. When the shooting at Las Vegas happened, the faith communities around UCONN were asked to gather with the students to provide support and a place for prayer. Brian also shares that he has had multiple students come out to him and felt supported by the community at St. Mark’s. The final thing Brian said he has witnessed was the coming and going of students, which has been powerful for him and the community, and has shown to him the importance of the hello and the goodbye to student.


You can find this episode and others on our website coffeehour.org. Be sure to like us on Facebook, and give us a follow on Instagram and Twitter. ​

In Christ and Coffee,
Karin & Alli

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