Coffee Hour

Juggling Chainsaws

We felt something like the bewilderment of a couple who neglected until their honeymoon to discuss family planning. The meeting with the internship committee was over. I'd accepted an offer to study at the Smaller Larger UU Church, when someone asked casually if my car was reliable. "Car?" I repeated. "Oh no. I'm a life-long pedestrian!"

Without trying to sound greener-than-thou, not driving always seemed the environmental decision that I could make with the biggest positive impact on the world I cherish. With gas prices climbing to new heights and America at war in the Middle East, I didn't want to make a big new commitment to the petrochemical industry. I'd managed just fine without a car so far in my life, but I was so gratified to have been invited to SLUUC that had I been told I'd need to juggle chainsaws, I'm sure I would have inquired about lessons. I learned to drive and I bought a car.

Getting behind the wheel wasn't easy for me. I want to be a minister, in part, because I'm trying to live a life consistent with my beliefs. What can I learn from the fact that student ministry required me to give up practicing one of my most cherished principles? I'm still processing that, but I did learn a couple things right off the bat.

First, my principle isn't absolute. After all, I've never been too principled to accept a ride from a friend. (Hey, I'm just helping them to carpool!) I've also always understood that not everyone could make a similar commitment to a car-free lifestyle, and I've known that there would be circumstances when it probably wouldn't be possible for me. I don't think I've appreciated until now, however, the frustration that comes from feeling powerless to enact one's principles. I know what I believe and I know what is best for me, but I couldn't convince people for whom a car is a necessity that I could live without it and I was afraid to turn down the offer from SLUUC when ministerial students outnumber internship sites. I started to wonder if in the past I have been too quick to judge people for whom ethical consistency is sometimes a luxury they cannot afford.

But am I really as powerless as all that? As I continued to reflect on my dilemma, I realized that by making One Big Sacrifice, I was often absolving myself from less dramatic changes. I've started looking for ways to offset the environmental consequences of my choice to drive. I'm also looking forward to once again being car-free. Until then, I try and stop whenever I see mothers with children sitting at the bus stop. I put up a ride-share notice at my tenement. I've met some interesting people while looking for pedestrians willing to help me carpool for a change.